I had to go through a bunch of resumes once when I had an open position for a curriculum writer. When I read through these it amazed me that these people have actually had jobs teaching communication skills. These people actually believed they had top-of-the-line writing skills.

It made me understand what Simon, Randy, and Paula go through.

Here they are:

Follow up:

This is what you don’t need to do when applying for a job in ESL. I culled all of these from actual cover letters and resumes that I received when I had a post available for a curriculum writer. Now, most people don’t write well, but hey, that’s okay; they don’t usually apply for writing jobs.

We had one cover letter (excerpts are included below) that was so off, I used it as a testing portion for the interview process.

So here they are, real sentences from real people.

1. I am an American ESL teacher. I have experince teaching in many places. Including kids.
2. I am interested in finding out more details about the position. You can contact me at this E-Mail address. After I hear from you, I will send my cover letter and my resume.
3. English Language Teacher- Argentina 1997 Equivalent in level to a four-year Bachelor’s degree in a program combining English and Education, from a re(edited)ble Canadian university. (University of Toronto 2002)
4. I speak, read, and write in Spanish at a moderate level
5. Over fourteen years of experience with children has imbued me with a rapport that makes their learning process receptive, interactive and emotionally secure.
6. I hope to …. make each learner’s global perspective more profuse in its scope.
7. If you need more information please feel free to email at anytime. (no resume)
8. I have lived in USA for 12 years .I can perfectly communicate, read and write in English. AS GOOD AS NATIVE SPEAKERS WITH NO ACCENT. I have also got the certificate of TOEFL.
9. I am a PE teacher but I can work in the classroom. Please contact me if you have a job for me.
10. Hello, I was wondering if the job is still available. I am very interested and would like more information. I hope to hear from you soon. (no resume)
11. Hello, Can you tell me how much the salary is? Sincerely, Sarah
12. I wish to express my interest in the Teaching position advertised in eslemployment website. ….. I will forward my CV and other details tomorrow.
13. Could you let me have more information about this job? (no resume)
14. OBJECTIVE - A position where one or more of the following skills may be utilized: Teaching English As A Second Language, Desk Clerk, Customer Service, Interdisciplinary Visual Art, Cashier, Computer, Barrista
15. We would be happy to forward our resumes to you after learning more about the positions available.
16. I saw your ad on Dave’s ESL site. I am interested in learning more about the textbook writing position. I am currently a teacher in Seoul, Korea. I am from the U.S. and have a degree in English. Please, could you tell me more about the position. (no resume)
17. I hold a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Administration from Suffield University, a leading American University (Suffield is a non-accredited online institution)
18. Truly committed to the service of humanity, I would like to join in your organization.
19. I am interested in working with your company because my experience in teaching ESL for a couple of decades now Makes me a seasoned ELT teacher and in preparing curriculum materials in English. (the capitalized “M” in “Makes” was in the letter)
20. Degree: Banchelor degree of Art (1987). Will get the Master degree.
21. Now ,in addition to teaching I can prepare ateaching material that suit my students.
22. I have just finished a teaching contract in an australian owned trainig center.
23. If you are interested in my experiences please email me details about the job as well as a copy of the contract[just if you are serious and the position is a highly paid one] (the brackets are original copy)

24. I wellcome training centres but if others with good conditions and high salary I will consider.

25. Just a footnote: I am computer literate, and I
use Microsoft Word when writing letters, do(edited)ents, etc. Thank you.
26. So, please if you need a good teacher, one familiar with Phillipino Culture and People, then please do contact me.
27. The dedication, patience and commitment that I have to teaching are two valuable virtues I can offer to the school/university. My desire to see my students turned into independent speakers of the language is always my primary concern is another one.
28. objective TO APPLY FOR A JOB AS an ENGLISH TEACHER
29. I never dream to be a teacher and yet I found so much passion in this work coz I see souls and hearts of every student that they need a teacher for them to be guided well..
30. I like to work with conducive room,and good school policy, an administrator very willing to support to the needs of the school, someone who is fair and just and a school that thinks whats best for the school…I can work at any rate as long as it can provide a good standard living for the teacher.
31. Having vastly studied, taught, traveled and lived across India, Nepal, Thailand, China, Europe, Czech Republic, and America I have developed an inherent understanding of various cultures;
32. SKILLL SET - Excellent communication skills with a strong attention to detail, Ability to write press releases
33. I finished my masteral degree in Business and Management in 1997 at the University of San Jose – Recoletos, Cebu City,
34. I am a graduate of Bachelor of Arts in Mass Communications at St. Theresa’s College
35. I have also seen at first hand that not every one and not every nation is as fortunate as I am.
36. Professional Skills – (listed among a dozen) Email
37. Superior listening and problem solving abilities.
38. Extensive experienced in fiction writing
39. Has had a good experience in teaching girl students as most of the assignments have been in colleges exclusively for the girls.
40. Taught TOFEL classes. Proof read English materials produced by the school, including contracts and advertisements for job openings.
41. Hence, I try to provide a student-centered classroom, where the students needs are my first priority.
42. Tropics Hotel: Head of Maintenance/ Assistant Manager 2000-2002
43. Being born in Switzerland and growing up in Canada, I had the rare privilege to grow up bi-lingual (German and English)
44. Implemented behavior modification strategies for adolescence with emotional disabilities within self-contained classrooms.
45. Tracked distribution of services to students in special education and maintained file folders.
46. Lead analyst providing analysis and research regarding the benefits of yoga on mental and physical health
47. Initiated and designed and edit a monthly newsletter,